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By: Sandi Moses If you are just transitioning from working outside the home to working from home, your thoughts are probably spinning with all the things that you will get done now that you don't have to waste all that time commuting, getting ready for work, etc. Instead of dealing with meetings, phone calls, reports, face-to-face chats with clients or customers or employees or 'the boss,' deadlines, 'managing by walking around,' countless interruptions, and all that, you will need to schedule time for focusing on the work you are doing from home, maintaining your home itself, your family, and maybe even YOU! You are working into the schedule YOUR needs and your family's needs, not the needs of the company for whom you used to work. Article: By: Sandi Moses If you are just transitioning from working outside the home to working from home, your thoughts are probably spinning with all the things that you will get done now that you don’t have to waste all that time commuting, getting ready for work, etc. And then a few weeks into your new lifestyle, things just don’t seem to going furthermore as smoothly as you had imagined! What the heck happened, anyway? Well, I yes sir hope you didn’t toss that daily planner you used to fill out so religiously! You just might need to pull it out, dust it off, and put it back to work. In the first place, you are “still working.” You are just working “here” and not “there.” You still need to keep a schedule, and maybe even a daily flow chart. It will just have different items on it. Instead of dealing with meetings, phone calls, reports, face-to-face chats with clients or customers or employees or “the boss,” deadlines, “managing by walking around,” countless interruptions, and all that, you will need to schedule time for focusing on the work you are doing from home, maintaining your home itself, your family, and maybe even YOU! Take your planner out and come up with something that works for you. You might start with what worked before. In other words, if you had to be ready to leave the house by 7:00 AM, before, then be that way now. You don’t have to be “all dressed up with nowhere to go,” but you can be showered and dressed, etc. hand on times to focus on various activities, keeping in mind that none of this is etched in stone. organism your own individual situation into this, and remember that it is only a guideline. Your boss is not going to call you on the deck if the schedule doesn’t work unless you stand in front of the mirror and have at it! Remember that you have flexibility that you didn’t have when you were working outside the home. You are the boss and you can predetermine you day as you choose, to fit the needs of your family, health, interests, schooling, or whatever reason you chose to work at home. Keep submissive until you find what works. It may need “re-tweaking” when school starts up or lets out, as days get longer or shorter, as the seasons change, etc. That’s OK! If you are thinking, “but I quit work so I didn’t have to be scheduled!” remember that this is YOUR schedule, not someone else’s. You can take as many breaks as you need, and you can take them whenever you need them, not when you are told to go. You are working into the schedule YOUR needs and your family‘s needs, not the needs of the partnership for whom you used to work. in that you have control over what is happening instead of occurrence at the mercy of someone else, you can handle it! And one last thing: you will never, ever have to come home so exhausted that you stand at the kitchen sink in you coat and high heels doing dishes as things go you know that if you stop to take them off, you will never get up to get the dishes done. And yes, I certainly heard of some poor soul who did that.
I have just finished counselling with a client who was depressed. She is a young mum and initially she was in a very low mood. She hadn't experienced talk therapy before but her friends were pushing her to do something about how miserable she felt. We talked about her life: the husband that loves her, her 7 month old daughter who she finds difficult to enjoy, her house, her friends and her relatives. About session three, I was wondering where the depression was coming from - her circumstances seemed good, she was healthy and she had several close relationships. Then we started to talk about when the depression had started - just after her daughter's birth. She mentioned in a 'give away comment', her mother had come to see her then for the first time in 2 years. Well apparently her mum and dad had separated when she was 13 years, had gone off with their own lovers and in the intervening 10 years, my client had seen them separately, irregularly. Then we started to unfold her memories of being left "in the family home" with her elder sisters (18 and 21 years), being expected to get herself up every day and out to school, feeding herself from whatever food was available in the kitchen, with her sisters at home only when they weren't at work or with boy-friends. Apparently some days she bunked off school and sat on a wall near the shopping precinct, watching people pass, knowing that no one cared what she did or where she went. So here was the root of her depression: my client had given up a lively job in a busy office when her baby was due, she was now stuck in her house with a new child and her husband was working long hours to support the three of them - for much of her day, no one cared what she did or where she went. My client actually broke into tears as she uttered this phrase - no one cared what she did or where she went. It has taken another six sessions to tease out all her pain and to counter the thoughts that were feeding it - what had she done to be discarded by her mum and dad, how was she going to cope with the world without her parents to love her, and how could she find someone to care about her? It was easy for my client to project these thoughts into her new daughter's life: what would prevent her from abandoning her daughter on a shopping trip, why couldn't she feel any love for her daughter or her husband, and would anyone care if she went away? Happily we have now worked through my client's difficult teenage years. She has recognised that her mum and dad were poor parents - so besotted with their own affairs that they hoped the other was doing the parenting and not realising that neither was. She knows she can make her own parenting different - she can choose to stay married to her husband, she can choose to love and cherish her child (or children, later) and in caring for her family, she can enjoy how much they care for her. A tipping point in my client's recovery was when she noticed how much joy her daughter has seeing her after an absence of a couple of minutes. Another important factor was becoming aware that her husband was always glad to see her, to hold her and to cherish her. So now the depression is lifted. I don't say that it is gone forever because I cannot tell what the future will bring to my client. However, for now, she knows how to manage and chase away those low feelings: to see how her daughter and husband love her. So now my client's first question to me 'Why am I feeling depressed?' is answered by "No one cared what you did or where you went" and we have found the antidote - 'They do now".  Article Index: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | 76 | 77 | 78 | 79 | 80 | 81 | 82 | 83 | 84 | 85 | 86 | 87 | 88 | 89 | 90 | 91 | 92 | 93 | 94 | 95 | 96 | 97 | 98 | 99 | 100 |
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